Let's get real here for a minute. I hope you don't mind. I want to talk about what a hard thing it is to be completely real when you're trying to create a social media presence. For me, this blog is a happy place. I never want it to become a place of complaining, or sad times. But in real life we have ruts and slumps. Sometimes the sun just doesn't shine as bright. That's a universal truth to everybody's life. So how do you be real without totally bumming out your readers? Because being real is a big thing for me on the blog too. I don't ever want you to think that my life is perfect, or that my child is perfect, or that I'm a rockstar parent- because I am not, she is not, it is not.
I decided that maybe the best way to confront this issue on the blog, is to not complain in the dark phase, but talk about the light once you've found it. To say, hey! moms! Last week, when you didn't want to get out of bed to fix breakfast, and you sat your kid in front of the tv with a bowl of popcorn at 11 am, and you felt like a failure because the moms you follow on instagram got up at 6:30 am and made egg in a hole in the shape of hearts and smiley faces for their kids, followed by an educational activity afterwards... yeah... so what. you still deserve mom of the year. Do you know why? Because your kid knows you love them. Because you DID feed them and cuddle them, and got over yourself to carry on for another day even though it could've been so easy to not to. Because maybe you lost your cool and snapped at that sweet face when she purposefully poured her milk all over the dog, but you hugged her and told her how much you loved her after she looked at you with teary eyes and you realized what a fart you were being.
hypothetically.
The past month, I have been in such a rut. It didn't last for a day, or a week- a whole month. It's not the first time either. Sometimes life is hard and there's not much you can do about it. So how do you get out of your rut? Honestly. I don't know. I can't give you a list to fix it. But here's what I did:
Today I woke up and got Fern ready for school. Instead of going back to bed to sleep the day away and not think about anything, I took a shower. I got dressed. No T-shirts today. Even though the laundry was dirty because I hadn't done it in a week, I pulled out those skinny jeans I hadn't worn in months & I got the wedges off of the dusty top shelf. I did my makeup. Lipstick ya'll. I think this process was a really important part of my day. I think dressing up and looking pretty for nobody can be so therapeutic. I felt good. (probably because I couldn't smell myself anymore...) I got ready for me today. Because when you do that, it's automatically a present to yourself; a gentle reminder that I do care.
I gathered my computer and headed to the nearest coffee shop where I indulged in a cappuccino while making a list. (because that's fun to me.) My list included dreams and wishes. (as they usually do) This one was titled: "What kind of woman I want to be." This is something that can get really tricky if you set your standards really high and don't have grace with yourself. So before you make this list, keep in mind that it's something to wake up for in the morning and strive for- not something unattainable to fail at and then beat yourself up over. Enjoy the process. Be who you want to be.
Then I got out my calendar, and made a list of activities I wanted to do with Fern. It's so easy to get into ruts when there's nothing to do. I think if I plan ahead and have my schedule ahead of time, I can prepare myself for the day ahead of time and have something to look forward to. Plus, when we're spending time together and enjoying activities, we're both in better moods. If you're in OKC, a GREAT source for finding things to do (much of the time free things to do) is Metro Family Magazine. They have a calendar section that has family activities around the city every day all day long. I've been planning much better with the help of that. Before we just ate fro-yo and went to the library. (which is awesome too)
I guess, reflecting back on everything, my message to you in the rut, is this: It's not anybody else's job to pull you out of that rut you're stuck in. You can't just sleep away the days until something happens. God knows I've tried. You need to get up. take a shower. put on a flowy dress and lipstick (cause it's spring) and take a day to yourself to reflect on the future and the type of person you want to be. Make sure you're treating yourself while you do so, that's real important too. I think we all get so busy we forget who we are, or even sometimes what we're doing here. What the point of it all is. We live day to do day just going through the routine, and we fall into ruts. We ALL need time for ourselves. Just a few hours to take deep breaths and get our heads straight. Dream a little. Plan a vacation. Plan to mark something off of your bucket list. Make a bucket list.
And then if you have leftover time, go home and pour yourself a glass of wine and drop that bath bomb in the tub you've been saving since last mothers day. You deserve it.
Also. I think it's really important to start living for yourself a little. YES. Every breath I take is for my daughter; My purpose in life is to raise her well and give her a happy healthy life. YES. My husband rocks my world. I want to be there for him and dress up for him. I aim to make him happy and proud to be my husband. I dress up for him & cook for him and buy him Notorious B.I.G. on vinyl sometimes because he's the jam to my peanut butter. These are all GREAT things. But I forget to live for myself too. Somedays you want to drop kick that sweet little angel face of a daughter you have and your husband works all day and then goes to a Thunder game, so there's just not anybody to get ready for. Those are the days it's hardest, but most important to remember that you still have yourself. You still need to do things for you. You are important.
No comments:
Post a Comment